9? I don't Belize it!

Well aren’t we forgetful. There you were thinking we were all good and done with Mexico and yet we forgot two whole things. The first, when we were camped out at one lake changing engine oil and relaxing was a very tactile earthquake! Magnitude 5.7 according to post-event Googling and not well calibrated behinds. Nobody injured, no damage, but the ground was a shakin’.

The second one is a little harder to articulate, but it was again by a lake albeit one that we had considered too dirty to swim in. Around three in the morning we wake up to a surreal noise coming from the nearby shore. Like something out of Harry Potter this terrifying sound chilled us to our bones, repeating over and over. Like an extremely deep phlegmy outwards breath, almost a snore, that evolves into a hiss. Kind of like Darth Vader, but echoing from all around and with the impression that the sound moves towards you and rolls around you off into the distance. It was the most bizarre and unnerving sound and we finally found out (again, post event Google!) that it was a Crocodile… Actually we lie, that’s what we thought it was, but turns out it is Howler monkeys!! Who you’ll meet later on in the episode. 

So now Belize, that place we almost skipped, what a massive mistake that would have been. The border crossing was relaxed, the driving is relaxed, the people are relaxed, what a place. The main language is English and the queen is on the money!

Our attempts to find a private cove mentioned on our cheating overlanding app was not successful, so we continued on to the small fishing town of Sarteneja down possibly the worst road yet encountered which included two “Hand Crank Ferries”. Ferries that run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to serve a small village with access across two small rivers run by men who literally crank the ferry across the water by hand. Why not built a bridge? Apparently that isn’t the style here. It seemed rude not to help, but it was a relief to be done after one run across the water.

But what an absolutely miraculous find, a charming village on the water inhabited by chilled locals and a handful of retired gringos. Immediately we felt safe and welcome, drinking with the gringos at the beach bar who’s generous owner told us he’d leave the toilets unlocked for us if we’re camping on the beach front. So we did, and the sun set on the water evolving into a backdrop of reds, yellows and blues the most gorgeous of sunsets either of us had ever seen. The photo doesn’t do it justice because by the time the full majesty unfolded we were in the water more relaxed than a cat in a cream bubble bath halfway through a bottle of red wine.

 

One of our new friends told us about a Monkey and Manatee sanctuary just across the peninsula called “Wild Tracks” and he even called them up and booked us on a tour for the next day. Since it wasn’t till the afternoon we tried to find a way to kill some time and so we drove a whole two minutes up the coast to a little jetty which we claimed to ourselves. I mean, this is the Caribbean and every photo seems to come out like a postcard. But we did see over 40 degrees in the day, and it was over 30 at night with that humidity that makes for a wet pillow every morning. Having said that, the water was cool, calm and all to ourselves so we managed to just about cope…

Morning buzzed by and before we knew it we were looking at manatees, monkeys and wild iguanas. It was a great setup with rehabilitation programmes and volunteers from gap years across the globe.

On our way back we found a broken down Dodge (surprise?) truck with four frustrated locals. A flat battery pointed to a busted alternator, we managed to eventually get it started before we headed on to find one of their wives as a backup plan should the charge we put in the battery not be enough to make it home. It wasn’t… she went to get them. We went back to the beach and pulled a couple of beers out the fridge.

After two nights camping for free on the beachfront, too many beers and countless swims we found it extremely hard to tear ourselves away from this village. There haven’t been all that many places that have felt so homely so quickly but this quaint little place tops our list for comfort and relaxation thus far.

The world’s second biggest barrier reef lives off the coast of Belize, the Not Quite As Great Barrier Reef. There are a number of islands that run along parallel, the one highly recommended to us was Caye Caulker, a small paradise reportedly less spoiled than some of the other options. After an hour ferry ride we arrived to find possibly the most chilled place on earth. Signs everywhere remind you to “Go Slow”, the roads are made of sand so most of the population is barefoot. The buildings are shack like, even most of the guest houses look like they could fall down any time yet somehow still welcoming and comfortable. Transport is exclusively bikes and golf carts and plenty of small time businesses offer snorkeling or diving tours out on the reef. Everywhere else is a bar or a restaurant with chairs hanging from the ceiling and the ambiance that nothing is worth stressing about.

A while back the island was bigger but a storm came through and tore a channel in the middle leaving a channel of clear water abundant with selfie fish and named “The Split”.

It was so relaxing, we almost missed the ferry home walking too slowly. You could easily spend a week or two here, but the cost of eating, drinking and taking tours would soon add up and we’re unfortunately on a limited timeline and budget so set sail we had to back to our camping spot in a Marina.

Morning coffee left over from yesterday on the rocks? It’s a life saver.

Away from the coast we drive, seeking to camp in a national park we stop by the kind but disorganised forestry department where we are meant to obtain a permit. They have some radio chat with the big park boss man, but then inform us we can only camp at one not so great spot in the park. Boooo.

On our way in, we find our arch nemesis blocking the road taunting our 2wd fat van. Soft sinky sand. Once upon a time at a Land Rover driving school a lessons was instilled upon the driver in this instance, and that was that when off-roading you should drive as slow as possible but as fast as necessary. Anyone that knows the driver would tell you that lesson was misunderstood and the approach has always been as fast as possible, and sometimes as slow as necessary. Anyway, how do you know how fast is necessary without first getting stuck going too slow? We didn’t go too slow, the clean van was dirty again.

We had made it to the “1000ft falls” (or 1600 if you count the second drop too). An incredible groundskeeper came to meet us, he lives on site with his wife at this tourist attraction maintaining the site and welcoming guests. We asked him how to prepare the coconut we had plucked from a tree on our travels to which he gave a thorough lesson in how to get to the delicious coconut water and meat. It’s way harder than he made it look!

A poster at the site teaches us about the Orange-breasted Falcon (looks to be closely related to the Peregrine Falcon) and how there are only a few dozen pairs left in Central America. We inquire to our new friend and before you know it he is off up the road on his motorbike to see if the local bird is hanging out in its favourite tree. Quickly returning, it turns out that it is so we walk up to find this rare Falcon hanging out in the evening light. Apparently bird watchers come from all over and can spend days waiting to see this bird without any luck. Suckers. We even had a bonus grey fox.

We certainly didn’t camp at this spot because we were told we weren’t allowed but it would have been a perfect spot to watch the stars and lightning across the mountain tops if we had been allowed, which we weren’t.

Tomorrow we cross another border, Guatemala, and head towards Tikal. Back to Español and the discomfort that comes with that self-inflicted barrier. Belize was an amazing stop for recharging our batteries as well as exploring a beautiful country with lovely people, even if a little more expensive than the Spanish speaking neighbours.

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8at guano crazy

It’s been a while, we’ve been trundling around a fair bit and we’re writing this on our last night in Mexico, assuming all goes well tomorrow at the border…

We spent our first three whole nights in a row in one spot for the first time since our trip begun, we must be getting lazy. Our chosen destination was “Overlanding Oasis”, run by a lovely Canadian couple who built an amazing home on the outskirts of Oaxaca in the village of El Tule. Basically, they parked their 50’s bus, converted into a motorhome, in an old restaurant then built a workshop on one side, a kitchen, lounge and bathroom on the other side and still use the bus as a bedroom and study. Outside of this unique setup they have room for overlanders to set up camp and stay incredibly comfortably. We met a great German family there who fed us too much delicious Tequila and the next day we set off to hungoverly explore the village and city. The village’s claim to fame is that the tree with the biggest diameter in the whole world lives there, it certainly is chunky and a quick Wikipedia search checks out. Must be true.

 

Another local attraction is a “petrified waterfall” which was quite pretty in the clouds. Our fancy tyres came in handy making our way up to a little camp nook off the main road in the rain. Didn’t get stuck, yessss.

Every two or three days we have to find groceries since our fridge is small and our appetites not so much. Mainly the small fridge... Google maps led us astray, and as we scratched our heads looking lost in a small village, a man walks over to talk to us. Fighting with the language barrier, we explained what we were seeking and he calls his wife over to help. Expecting a few arm gestures and some pointing, we are overwhelmed when she hops in the back of the van and kindly guides us through the maze of a village to a small shop that seems to stock everything. We grab some supplies, manage to buy her a couple of things (she didn’t actually need anything), and she even helped pack our bags. We drop her off, chat some more and admire their swimming pool built for the village, and head on the way yet again overwhelmed at the kindness and generosity of Mexicans.

We head out to our first Mayan Ruin experience, a sweaty hike from a car park up a hill. On the way we encounter the ugly ugly ugly bird that is so ugly. A river that needs crossing, in a van that needs washing, so we use our brains and get two things done at once.

So we make it up to the ruins, and you can see below Jenny intently taking a picture. But what is it? Is it a pyramid structure? Is it a temple?

NO! It’s another cactus rocking out whooooooooohhhoooooooo

The ruins weren’t very spectacular, we won’t bore you with our bad photos of them. But it was a nice car park to spend a night in.

Our lil’ home is a little tall but we decided we didn’t need to worry about the winds, but as we progressed across a valley a fair bit of steering was required to keep on the black stuff. This was the strongest wind we’ve driven across, with scrapes on the tarmac and flat spots in the bushes telling tale of many vehicles folding their wing mirrors in the hard way.

Further through the valley we find hundreds and hundreds of beautiful wind turbines, gentle giants creating huge amounts of clean electrickary. Apart from one, which died.

Sneaking past an open gate we manage to find a row of these monsters to stand under and gawk at in admiration and minor terror that these ones might explode like the other one. They are so huge! It was great to see so much investment in clean energy, but that positivity was soon wiped out.

Midway through the wind turbine farm we see a rubbish sign, expecting to find a bin we are shocked and saddened to see that this is a place to dump your rubbish, but not into a bin, rather into a big pile by the side of the road where it will either burn slowly or blow away. Plastics, metals, anything and everything gets thrown onto a pile by the side of the road, by the sign telling you to do so. In the shadow of clean, renewable energy a pile of waste slowly burns.

Our next camp spot is a lake where the fishing rod makes its first appearance mainly as a decorative and ineffective tool for catching fish. Which I think is normal? We needed something for the hand not holding a beer. Just as the sun is setting, and we are enjoying our relaxing evening two severely intoxicated locals turn up and just would not leave, we got bitten, it got dark, we couldn’t understand a word they said and still they wouldn’t stop trying to talk to us. It wasn’t threatening, it wasn’t friendly, it was just plain drunk and as soon as they finally left, we moved far away for fear of a return appearance.

The sun rose, flip flops were fixed, the severity of the previous evenings bites became apparent.

Sometimes we shower like superheroes.

Another town we were recommended, San Cristobal, turned out to be quite a pleasant place to sit outside a pub and have a few drinks. We even managed to be outdone in the “Who looks the most like a tourist” competition.

As a touristy town, it is surrounded by attractions to draw the crowds out except in the week at this time of year we are the crowd by ourselves. So we made ourselves at home enjoying the cool altitude of highlands, dried our towels and fixed today’s broken thing. There’s always something broken.  This site, Grutas de Marmut, has a huge underground cave system you can wander around in almost falling over the slippy rocks while looking upwards enjoying the ambience. We also found where those damn ants in the van were coming from, a nest they made in a book!! Bastards.

Now for some Mayan ruins worth showing you short attention spanned readers (actually you’ve made it this far so that wasn’t a fair accusation). Built from the years 300 through to 600 AD, this huge set of temples built onto a reshaped hill was certainly an impressive thing to clamber all over trying not to fall and die. Yet again being out of season meant we basically had the place to ourselves, and where we expected an entrance fee as reported by our guiding app, a policeman manning the entrance booth told us there was in fact no charge. Result!

A creepy ass snake like tree vine thing.

More ants were found, tracked back to underneath the fiberglass top. It was removed, they were exterminated. And todays thing that needs fixing? The brakes!

Squeamish? On our penultimate day in Mexico we happened to be passing a “Bat Show” so we made the short walk into the forest to find the big ol’ hole in the ground from which this show emanates. Finding a surprising number of other people at this remote location, a tour guide gave us some details and then before we knew it a whopping 3.5 million bats began to leave their cave over the span of half an hour, twisting out and up through the trees in a huge squeaky flurry. The force of their flying could be felt with a significant mammal generated breeze with the occasional slap as one collided with a tree or rock (sonar interference?). A falcon that was perched on the far side for ten minutes before the bats began flying dropped into the furry cloud, legs outstretched and just plucked dinner from the air with minimal effort. Standing at the side of the sink hole, bats would whoosh past your head with incredible precision making their way off into the night. Not wanting to get rabies we decided best not to try and get in their way, and headed back to our sneaky abandoned quarry campsite safe in the knowledge that there were bats out there hunting down on those pesky bugs.

We were about two days away from entering Guatemala’s west border about five days ago, but in keeping with our flexible and adventurous way of life, we decided to head north to cross over to the Caribbean coast and visit Belize. It wasn’t on our radar until a Tequila fuelled conversation with our German overlanding friends, but isn’t that how the best decisions are made? So that’s where we are, on the Caribbean in the rain about to attempt cross our third border. Wish us luck!

Due to absolutely infuriating technical issues, there will be no map for now and we'll try and get it updated once we care enough.

Fixed it maybe!
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