Diez days

English goodbye, Español hola! Departing Belize was the opposite of the way in, we enter a nice orderly border area, speak to relaxed people in English and then BOOM, no order, no sense, people everywhere and not a word of English. Somehow we make it through with an extra sticker for our windscreen and a couple of stamps in our passports. We don’t know how much you know about Guatemala but if you are like us, then it’s nothing so everything we write should be good and interesting. Maybe.

First stop, serene lakeside spot to ourselves for a beautiful sunset and a beer sat in the water. Great start.

Old Mayan ruins are kind of a big deal in this part of the world, and it is certainly nice to see something genuinely ancient again after living in baby Canada (150 years old last year…). Tikal seems to be Guatemala’s most popular with a whole lot of old templey things in the jungle from the early ADs. The jungle setting really makes it special, with some of the ruins still buried deep under the jungle that has engulfed them over a thousand years or more.

The road in is 15km with a low average speed to stop you from squishing the wildlife, they check your timing at both ends! Warnings signs decorate the curb with all sorts of exotic animals present. Including… turkeys!

We were not, however, warned about the wild motorcycling Irishman who found us stopped taking a picture of one of these signs in the same way he had. After a chat we set off again, now nicely behind on our average speed so we could go at animal squishing speed without consequence.

Upon reaching the ruins, we spent hours wandering around pretty lost staring at different shape piles of rock from ages ago. The main plaza has been cleared out with some of the most impressive temples towering about the well-kept grass, while others still live amongst the trees majestically sprouting above the jungle canopy like big tall rocky pointy things.

Some ruins have been half unearthed, leaving one side covered in over a foot of soil whilst the other is restored to the glory of 1500 years ago.

Animals are certainly an added bonus here, with Toucans, Coati (weird looking pointy nose Racoon critters), a weird colourful tasty looking Turkey and Steve’s brother hanging out in a tree. Wait, what?

Unbelievable. What are the chances Mike would show up in Guatemala? Not cool, a fight breaks out.

Having been so lost and fascinated for so many hours we return to our trusty lakeside camp spot to find out, only too late, that it has rained a little and that nice firm ground has turned to slippery slimy mud. The attempt to turn around involves backing into a rock, throwing several kilos of mud into the wheel arches and generally slipping and sliding around trying not to drop into that lovely serene water. Word of advice, Westy beats rock, and ET was a hench toad.

This country is a fair bit smaller than Mexico, making it hard to avoid a typical tourist route through the country. Our next target after Tikal is Lake Atitlan, down in the South West of the country in the mountains. Our first camp spot during this transit period is a small park infested with mosquitoes like you wouldn’t believe. Oh and you shouldn’t swim in the lake because of Crocodiles either, never mind! There was a huge leafcutter ant colony with ant highways stretching off in all directions. Where they marched all the grass was dead, and they made use of above ground tree routes to save time during construction of these highways. Smarty pAnts.

Next stop, Coban. We stayed at a “sustainable community co-op” coffee plantation place where it didn’t stop raining and raining. The hosts were lovely, let us use the hot showers and even gave us coffee in the morning whilst Jenjen browsed the information boards. Do not worry if you can’t see her in the photos, she was wearing camouflage. After declining the offer of a somewhat expensive shortened plantation tour in the rain, we set off to tackle an arduous mountain road leaving their disgruntled faces behind.

After muchos muchos driving managing to not fall off the slimy wet road we camped at a small gravel area out the back of a tiny village. The main purpose of this area appeared to be for kids to drive Tuc-tucs around in circles really fast, somehow we avoided the temptation to join in. We stretched our legs, Westy Rick aired out and we admired the clouds rolling through the valleys below.

We also learnt what it takes to make the roads in Central America what they are. Every now and again we travel a few miles without holes in the ground trying to bend you wheels and shatter your teeth only to be held up with roadworks at the end. You see, when the road is too good crews of road worker people will dig holes in it to keep consistency with all the other roads in the region. Below you see these hard working potholers in action.

There exists another challenge to the Guatemalan roads, we call them the Dangerbusses. They are so dangerbus it is a miracle people aren’t sent over cliff edges or into oncoming traffic more frequently. They appear to be ex school busses, each with a bright paint job and lots of shiny chrome parts and flashing lights. Further tweaks include removal of all exhaust silencing, increasing fuel delivery until black smoke pours from the exhaust and the removal of any ability to be at anything other than full throttle all the time. There is also no need for them to stick to the correct side of the road since they’re bigger than everyone else. They will find you, they will catch you and you will think they’re trying to kill you.

Onwards and downwards, we find ourselves occasionally on the road we’re meant to be driving, the Pan-American highway that stretches from Alaska to Argentina. Good to know we’re heading in the right direction. Descending down to the lake is extremely aggressive, dropping 3500ft in 13km is a brake melting neck straining van ruining challenge. We all survive, making it into San Marcus where we find a bustling town filled with backpacking hippies, hostels and organic gluten free holistic vegan massages.

And a beautiful camp spot next to the lake.

Short on drinking water, we avoid the expensive offerings of our campsite host by collecting rainwater overnight. 20L collected from our awning with a funnel in just one night! And we haven’t got sick from it yet…

Something we haven’t missed is alarms. But every now and again we decide it is worthwhile to set one in the hopes of making good driving progress or catching a nice sunrise. This was the latter, and it was worthwhile. We both hope that you feel that your alarm is worthwhile, Monday through Friday. Then back to the van for coffee.

Eventually we depart this lovely spot and make the arduous climb back up the mountain. Stopping at the top, Steve takes a look under the van to see what might be leaking today to find the timing belt cover half melted. How wrong he was when he decided a heat shield wasn’t necessary, but the solution comes 300 metres down the road where a hardware store happens to sell shiny foil backed bitumen tape to reflect that pesky exhaust radiation. We’ll see how well that bodge lasts… There’s always something broken.

But what is this, on our way into Antigua (the ex-colonial capital of Latin America) Westy Rick starts sniffing the behind of one of the very few Subarus we’ve found on this trip and it just so happens to be identical to the first (hopefully last) engine donor vehicle you might remember from a previous post. Now we know where to find spares! Down boy, down!

The tourist police in this town have a large compound where they kindly let people camp for free just a few minutes walk from the centre of town. This is the first time we’ve found this kind of camp spot and it is absolutely amazing. 24 hour police guard, cheeky WiFi from a local hostel if you hold your phone up at 76.354 degrees, zero cost and several other overlanding friends at any one time. The only thing lacking is a bathroom, luckily McDonald’s is just around the corner allowing us to indulge in local culture and to exdulge. In this town the wild Irishman also re-appeared in his natural habitat.

Antigua is a pretty town, surrounded by volcanoes it is one of the more touristy places we have visited. Lots of cafés, restaurants and Spanish language schools for people who aren’t as professional at waving their arms and speaking loudly like us. We spent two days exploring the markets, climbing to a pretty vantage point and finding the hub of Dangerbusses where they plot their wicked schemes to run everyone else off the road.

Something we haven’t found anywhere else is a two tier pricing in Guatemala. Nationals pay one price, foreigners pay another. Whilst we get it, it’s hard not to be offended! We also found an interesting fountain and enough pigeons to remind us of London. Speaking of which, we enjoyed a Sunday Roast in an English pub with a Wandering Englishman and a couple of Americans who we met back at lake Atitlan.

Join us next time where we both fall in love with a street dog but somehow resist the urge to take him with us. Our hearts will forever be a little broken!

9? I don't Belize it!

Well aren’t we forgetful. There you were thinking we were all good and done with Mexico and yet we forgot two whole things. The first, when we were camped out at one lake changing engine oil and relaxing was a very tactile earthquake! Magnitude 5.7 according to post-event Googling and not well calibrated behinds. Nobody injured, no damage, but the ground was a shakin’.

The second one is a little harder to articulate, but it was again by a lake albeit one that we had considered too dirty to swim in. Around three in the morning we wake up to a surreal noise coming from the nearby shore. Like something out of Harry Potter this terrifying sound chilled us to our bones, repeating over and over. Like an extremely deep phlegmy outwards breath, almost a snore, that evolves into a hiss. Kind of like Darth Vader, but echoing from all around and with the impression that the sound moves towards you and rolls around you off into the distance. It was the most bizarre and unnerving sound and we finally found out (again, post event Google!) that it was a Crocodile… Actually we lie, that’s what we thought it was, but turns out it is Howler monkeys!! Who you’ll meet later on in the episode. 

So now Belize, that place we almost skipped, what a massive mistake that would have been. The border crossing was relaxed, the driving is relaxed, the people are relaxed, what a place. The main language is English and the queen is on the money!

Our attempts to find a private cove mentioned on our cheating overlanding app was not successful, so we continued on to the small fishing town of Sarteneja down possibly the worst road yet encountered which included two “Hand Crank Ferries”. Ferries that run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to serve a small village with access across two small rivers run by men who literally crank the ferry across the water by hand. Why not built a bridge? Apparently that isn’t the style here. It seemed rude not to help, but it was a relief to be done after one run across the water.

But what an absolutely miraculous find, a charming village on the water inhabited by chilled locals and a handful of retired gringos. Immediately we felt safe and welcome, drinking with the gringos at the beach bar who’s generous owner told us he’d leave the toilets unlocked for us if we’re camping on the beach front. So we did, and the sun set on the water evolving into a backdrop of reds, yellows and blues the most gorgeous of sunsets either of us had ever seen. The photo doesn’t do it justice because by the time the full majesty unfolded we were in the water more relaxed than a cat in a cream bubble bath halfway through a bottle of red wine.

 

One of our new friends told us about a Monkey and Manatee sanctuary just across the peninsula called “Wild Tracks” and he even called them up and booked us on a tour for the next day. Since it wasn’t till the afternoon we tried to find a way to kill some time and so we drove a whole two minutes up the coast to a little jetty which we claimed to ourselves. I mean, this is the Caribbean and every photo seems to come out like a postcard. But we did see over 40 degrees in the day, and it was over 30 at night with that humidity that makes for a wet pillow every morning. Having said that, the water was cool, calm and all to ourselves so we managed to just about cope…

Morning buzzed by and before we knew it we were looking at manatees, monkeys and wild iguanas. It was a great setup with rehabilitation programmes and volunteers from gap years across the globe.

On our way back we found a broken down Dodge (surprise?) truck with four frustrated locals. A flat battery pointed to a busted alternator, we managed to eventually get it started before we headed on to find one of their wives as a backup plan should the charge we put in the battery not be enough to make it home. It wasn’t… she went to get them. We went back to the beach and pulled a couple of beers out the fridge.

After two nights camping for free on the beachfront, too many beers and countless swims we found it extremely hard to tear ourselves away from this village. There haven’t been all that many places that have felt so homely so quickly but this quaint little place tops our list for comfort and relaxation thus far.

The world’s second biggest barrier reef lives off the coast of Belize, the Not Quite As Great Barrier Reef. There are a number of islands that run along parallel, the one highly recommended to us was Caye Caulker, a small paradise reportedly less spoiled than some of the other options. After an hour ferry ride we arrived to find possibly the most chilled place on earth. Signs everywhere remind you to “Go Slow”, the roads are made of sand so most of the population is barefoot. The buildings are shack like, even most of the guest houses look like they could fall down any time yet somehow still welcoming and comfortable. Transport is exclusively bikes and golf carts and plenty of small time businesses offer snorkeling or diving tours out on the reef. Everywhere else is a bar or a restaurant with chairs hanging from the ceiling and the ambiance that nothing is worth stressing about.

A while back the island was bigger but a storm came through and tore a channel in the middle leaving a channel of clear water abundant with selfie fish and named “The Split”.

It was so relaxing, we almost missed the ferry home walking too slowly. You could easily spend a week or two here, but the cost of eating, drinking and taking tours would soon add up and we’re unfortunately on a limited timeline and budget so set sail we had to back to our camping spot in a Marina.

Morning coffee left over from yesterday on the rocks? It’s a life saver.

Away from the coast we drive, seeking to camp in a national park we stop by the kind but disorganised forestry department where we are meant to obtain a permit. They have some radio chat with the big park boss man, but then inform us we can only camp at one not so great spot in the park. Boooo.

On our way in, we find our arch nemesis blocking the road taunting our 2wd fat van. Soft sinky sand. Once upon a time at a Land Rover driving school a lessons was instilled upon the driver in this instance, and that was that when off-roading you should drive as slow as possible but as fast as necessary. Anyone that knows the driver would tell you that lesson was misunderstood and the approach has always been as fast as possible, and sometimes as slow as necessary. Anyway, how do you know how fast is necessary without first getting stuck going too slow? We didn’t go too slow, the clean van was dirty again.

We had made it to the “1000ft falls” (or 1600 if you count the second drop too). An incredible groundskeeper came to meet us, he lives on site with his wife at this tourist attraction maintaining the site and welcoming guests. We asked him how to prepare the coconut we had plucked from a tree on our travels to which he gave a thorough lesson in how to get to the delicious coconut water and meat. It’s way harder than he made it look!

A poster at the site teaches us about the Orange-breasted Falcon (looks to be closely related to the Peregrine Falcon) and how there are only a few dozen pairs left in Central America. We inquire to our new friend and before you know it he is off up the road on his motorbike to see if the local bird is hanging out in its favourite tree. Quickly returning, it turns out that it is so we walk up to find this rare Falcon hanging out in the evening light. Apparently bird watchers come from all over and can spend days waiting to see this bird without any luck. Suckers. We even had a bonus grey fox.

We certainly didn’t camp at this spot because we were told we weren’t allowed but it would have been a perfect spot to watch the stars and lightning across the mountain tops if we had been allowed, which we weren’t.

Tomorrow we cross another border, Guatemala, and head towards Tikal. Back to Español and the discomfort that comes with that self-inflicted barrier. Belize was an amazing stop for recharging our batteries as well as exploring a beautiful country with lovely people, even if a little more expensive than the Spanish speaking neighbours.

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