9? I don't Belize it!

Well aren’t we forgetful. There you were thinking we were all good and done with Mexico and yet we forgot two whole things. The first, when we were camped out at one lake changing engine oil and relaxing was a very tactile earthquake! Magnitude 5.7 according to post-event Googling and not well calibrated behinds. Nobody injured, no damage, but the ground was a shakin’.

The second one is a little harder to articulate, but it was again by a lake albeit one that we had considered too dirty to swim in. Around three in the morning we wake up to a surreal noise coming from the nearby shore. Like something out of Harry Potter this terrifying sound chilled us to our bones, repeating over and over. Like an extremely deep phlegmy outwards breath, almost a snore, that evolves into a hiss. Kind of like Darth Vader, but echoing from all around and with the impression that the sound moves towards you and rolls around you off into the distance. It was the most bizarre and unnerving sound and we finally found out (again, post event Google!) that it was a Crocodile… Actually we lie, that’s what we thought it was, but turns out it is Howler monkeys!! Who you’ll meet later on in the episode. 

So now Belize, that place we almost skipped, what a massive mistake that would have been. The border crossing was relaxed, the driving is relaxed, the people are relaxed, what a place. The main language is English and the queen is on the money!

Our attempts to find a private cove mentioned on our cheating overlanding app was not successful, so we continued on to the small fishing town of Sarteneja down possibly the worst road yet encountered which included two “Hand Crank Ferries”. Ferries that run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to serve a small village with access across two small rivers run by men who literally crank the ferry across the water by hand. Why not built a bridge? Apparently that isn’t the style here. It seemed rude not to help, but it was a relief to be done after one run across the water.

But what an absolutely miraculous find, a charming village on the water inhabited by chilled locals and a handful of retired gringos. Immediately we felt safe and welcome, drinking with the gringos at the beach bar who’s generous owner told us he’d leave the toilets unlocked for us if we’re camping on the beach front. So we did, and the sun set on the water evolving into a backdrop of reds, yellows and blues the most gorgeous of sunsets either of us had ever seen. The photo doesn’t do it justice because by the time the full majesty unfolded we were in the water more relaxed than a cat in a cream bubble bath halfway through a bottle of red wine.

 

One of our new friends told us about a Monkey and Manatee sanctuary just across the peninsula called “Wild Tracks” and he even called them up and booked us on a tour for the next day. Since it wasn’t till the afternoon we tried to find a way to kill some time and so we drove a whole two minutes up the coast to a little jetty which we claimed to ourselves. I mean, this is the Caribbean and every photo seems to come out like a postcard. But we did see over 40 degrees in the day, and it was over 30 at night with that humidity that makes for a wet pillow every morning. Having said that, the water was cool, calm and all to ourselves so we managed to just about cope…

Morning buzzed by and before we knew it we were looking at manatees, monkeys and wild iguanas. It was a great setup with rehabilitation programmes and volunteers from gap years across the globe.

On our way back we found a broken down Dodge (surprise?) truck with four frustrated locals. A flat battery pointed to a busted alternator, we managed to eventually get it started before we headed on to find one of their wives as a backup plan should the charge we put in the battery not be enough to make it home. It wasn’t… she went to get them. We went back to the beach and pulled a couple of beers out the fridge.

After two nights camping for free on the beachfront, too many beers and countless swims we found it extremely hard to tear ourselves away from this village. There haven’t been all that many places that have felt so homely so quickly but this quaint little place tops our list for comfort and relaxation thus far.

The world’s second biggest barrier reef lives off the coast of Belize, the Not Quite As Great Barrier Reef. There are a number of islands that run along parallel, the one highly recommended to us was Caye Caulker, a small paradise reportedly less spoiled than some of the other options. After an hour ferry ride we arrived to find possibly the most chilled place on earth. Signs everywhere remind you to “Go Slow”, the roads are made of sand so most of the population is barefoot. The buildings are shack like, even most of the guest houses look like they could fall down any time yet somehow still welcoming and comfortable. Transport is exclusively bikes and golf carts and plenty of small time businesses offer snorkeling or diving tours out on the reef. Everywhere else is a bar or a restaurant with chairs hanging from the ceiling and the ambiance that nothing is worth stressing about.

A while back the island was bigger but a storm came through and tore a channel in the middle leaving a channel of clear water abundant with selfie fish and named “The Split”.

It was so relaxing, we almost missed the ferry home walking too slowly. You could easily spend a week or two here, but the cost of eating, drinking and taking tours would soon add up and we’re unfortunately on a limited timeline and budget so set sail we had to back to our camping spot in a Marina.

Morning coffee left over from yesterday on the rocks? It’s a life saver.

Away from the coast we drive, seeking to camp in a national park we stop by the kind but disorganised forestry department where we are meant to obtain a permit. They have some radio chat with the big park boss man, but then inform us we can only camp at one not so great spot in the park. Boooo.

On our way in, we find our arch nemesis blocking the road taunting our 2wd fat van. Soft sinky sand. Once upon a time at a Land Rover driving school a lessons was instilled upon the driver in this instance, and that was that when off-roading you should drive as slow as possible but as fast as necessary. Anyone that knows the driver would tell you that lesson was misunderstood and the approach has always been as fast as possible, and sometimes as slow as necessary. Anyway, how do you know how fast is necessary without first getting stuck going too slow? We didn’t go too slow, the clean van was dirty again.

We had made it to the “1000ft falls” (or 1600 if you count the second drop too). An incredible groundskeeper came to meet us, he lives on site with his wife at this tourist attraction maintaining the site and welcoming guests. We asked him how to prepare the coconut we had plucked from a tree on our travels to which he gave a thorough lesson in how to get to the delicious coconut water and meat. It’s way harder than he made it look!

A poster at the site teaches us about the Orange-breasted Falcon (looks to be closely related to the Peregrine Falcon) and how there are only a few dozen pairs left in Central America. We inquire to our new friend and before you know it he is off up the road on his motorbike to see if the local bird is hanging out in its favourite tree. Quickly returning, it turns out that it is so we walk up to find this rare Falcon hanging out in the evening light. Apparently bird watchers come from all over and can spend days waiting to see this bird without any luck. Suckers. We even had a bonus grey fox.

We certainly didn’t camp at this spot because we were told we weren’t allowed but it would have been a perfect spot to watch the stars and lightning across the mountain tops if we had been allowed, which we weren’t.

Tomorrow we cross another border, Guatemala, and head towards Tikal. Back to Español and the discomfort that comes with that self-inflicted barrier. Belize was an amazing stop for recharging our batteries as well as exploring a beautiful country with lovely people, even if a little more expensive than the Spanish speaking neighbours.

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